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  • Writer's pictureJennifer Wreyford

Today’s Tough Love: Living from "supposed to"?

Today’s Tough Love:

I got married the first time because I thought I was “supposed to”.

We had no business getting married. He was a nice guy from a nice family. I was a nice girl from a nice family who was feeling way too much pressure to check the next box on the list of things I thought I was “supposed to do” in life.

We feel we’re “supposed to” be married by a certain time.

We feel we’re “supposed to” have a baby by a certain time.

We feel we’re “supposed to” have a certain type of job.

We feel we’re “supposed to”…well, I’ll let you fill in the blank on your “supposed to”.

But here’s the truth…

There is no “supposed to”.

Rushing a relationship because of “supposed to” is a great way to end up unhappy or divorced or both.

Rushing your life for someone else’s idea of how you should live is a great way to end up in a life that doesn’t even remotely look like you…and feeling lost and unfulfilled.

What would it feel like to ditch “supposed to”? Just as an exercise in your mind. What if you acknowledged that you weren’t ready to marry someone on a certain timeline? Or that you were actually HAPPY being single right now, no matter your age? Or that you weren’t sure you even wanted to have children? Or that your job as a (fill in the blank) is actually sucking your soul and you’d rather be a (fill in the blank) even though your parents wanted you to be a (fill in the blank).

It’s your life, at the end of the day.

No one else has to walk in YOUR shoes.

No one else has to wake up in YOUR body.

No one else has to live with the outcome of YOUR choices for your personal trajectory in life.

It’s your life.

Have Courage & Sparkle On 💖

(If we’re splitting hairs, the only real “supposed to” in life is to live with love and integrity to yourself and, to the best of your ability, do no malicious or intentional harm to a living creature. Really one commandment could cover everything: don’t be an *sshole. That’s for another post though)


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