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  • Writer's pictureJennifer Wreyford

Today's Tough Love: Are you giving your power away to a label?

Today's Tough Love:


Stop giving your power away to an external label and creating an identity around it.


We had this conversation recently in one of my groups. A recommendation was offered for the book, Attached. Now I’ve read it too and it’s a fantastic book to help you understand your patterns in relationships. It also prompted me to offer a super important reminder about these types of personal development resources that come with “labels”.


Labels are FANTASTIC for helping us FIND WORDS for what we’re feeling AND to help us know we aren’t alone. We need both of those things on our journey.


There’s one more step that too many people forget.


It’s what I call the “AND ALSO”.


And also: remember that the reason we have those labels is because something caused it in the first place.


It’s a SYMPTOM. It’s not your IDENTITY. I see too many people choose to camp out in a label and live there. They let it become their identity.


“Oh, I’m anxiously attached, this is just how I am…”

“Oh, I’m an avoidant so…you know…”


These statements are often used to explain away staying in that behavior.


(It’s like saying, “Oh, I’m a (insert your astrological sign), so this is just how I am”. ARGH.)


Nope, sorry.


The purpose of any resource is to help you UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND WHERE YOU ARE NOW.


Then you get to decide WHAT to do about it.


Stop giving your power away to external labels. Use them to help you name what you’re experiencing so that you know where you are, and where you need support.


Have Courage and Sparkle On 💖


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